Homer Simpson: I am not too fat. I'm alive, aren't I?
Tab Spangler: Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from P.S.I. "Poor Self-Esteem" (points to the P.S.I. sign). Esteem doesn't start with "I". Every sign is wrong! (rips sign off dashboard and throws it out the window)
Homer Simpson: Oh that's terrible.
Tab Spangler: We got a long drive ahead. You wanna pull off at a motel? We'll split a room.
Homer Simpson: Where will I sleep?
Tab Spangler: We can worry about that when we're standing naked before the bed! My goodness! No wonder you eat. What are you eating now?
Homer Simpson: Cheeseburger.
Tab Spangler: You're a catastrophe! Let me have half of it.
Homer Simpson: I don't wanna.
Tab Spangler: I just want the cheese. I don't want the meat. I do want the meat!
Homer Simpson: Here's a corner.
Tab Spangler: I mean just bite it. Don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing. You'll get some later.
Homer Simpson: You're a selfish jerk.
Tab Spangler: I smelled it. It has to be eaten!
Homer Simpson: But it's my burger.
Tab Spangler: I'm driving. I'll kill us.
Homer Simpson: Fine. I'd rather die.