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The worst clan names of all time

By Michael 'Zechs' Radford
Jul 19, 2010 14:42

ImageThe Zechs Files returns with a spring in its step and laughter in the air - at least I hope so - as we take a look at some of the lamest names ever to (dis)grace esports.

Coming up with a name for your clan is serious business. When you first start out in online gaming you probably spent ages thinking up a clever name and making sure you use just enough brackets and dashes to make the coolest tag ever. I was once in a clan called Chaos - unoriginal but fine - where the tag was {*}Name[and]Chaos{*}. Pretty awesome, huh?

But it's not only noobs and amateurs who come up with embarrassing names. The pros do it too, and some of the worst clan names of all still survive to this very day. So without further ado, here is the top five worst professional gaming names of all time.

#5 SK

As much as I love writing for SK and working with the people here, I have to admit that the moniker is pretty lame. Originally, SK stood for Schroet Kommando – roughly translated as Frag Soldier or Shrapnel Soldier. That’s pretty generic and uninventive to begin with so it came as little surprise when the bosses decided to do a TEC and change it to just be SK without a meaning. Luckily, the name has a mystique of its own after over ten years at the top of the esports chain. But on its own, in a vacuum, “SK” is pretty rubbish.

#4 Fnatic

The word “fanatic” isn’t particularly offensive. In today’s world of buzz words and youth culture, it’s perfectly normal. But I just wonder why Sam and his buddies decided to take out the first A. When you say the team name out loud, do you drop it? No, because it’s almost impossible to make a “fn” sound anyway. I guess it’s not that Fnatic is a bad name, it’s just a bit redundant.

#3 Complexity

"The state or quality of being complex; intricacy.” Um, okay… Were the original coL lineup a bunch of emo kids whose emotional problems were so strong that they needed to name the team after them? I doubt it. This is just a completely generic word that doesn’t really seem to refer to anything. It’s as if Jason Lake just opened a random page in the dictionary and went “sure, we’ll take it.”

#2 TEC

In case you aren’t aware, or just weren’t around when TEC was, this American clan was one of the country’s best way back when. Some pretty famous names played for them back in the day, including the likes of Elude, Jaden and Moses. Sadly, their tag was much lamer than their performances. The original founders thought “The Elite” sounded too noob-friendly and so they settled on “The Elite Clan,” because that’s just so much better, right? It’s no wonder they just called themselves TEC in the end.

#1 Jax Money Crew

JMC was a pretty short-lived American team back in the mid-to late 2000’s. Newcomers to esports probably don’t remember them but their infamy as having the crappiest name of all time will live on. Harking back to the disgusting yuppy culture of the 80’s, Alex ‘Jax’ Conroy decided that wearing a power suit and flashing money around was a good image for his esports team. Like some kind of bad guy faction from WWE (million dollar man, anybody?), he gave his team an equally stupid name. Again, despite the horrible name, this team actually performed pretty well, taking back-to-back top eights at CPL 2006 and 2007.

So, it seems that despite the whimsical nature of this column, there is an important lesson to be learned: spend your time on practising instead of making up clever names and you’re much more likely to succeed! Who’d have thunk it, eh?

(Image courtesy of



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