There is a well documented theory that the biggest causes of stress are the small things in life. A personal example: I have missed a lot of University lately with Insomnia but what gets me pissed-off enough to shout and slam the desk? The vanish bug in WoW, of course. It’s unlikely that being auto-attacked out of stealth is the cause of my problems but it’s even less likely that I’ll lie in bed cursing and banging my fist on a keyboard because I can’t sleep.

But it’s so easy to be negative. I put it to you that the small things in life can also be the ones that make us happiest. Why is a Deagle headshot so much more satisfying than a thirty bullet AK spray? They both do the same job after all, yet you’re unlikely to shout out on vent “Oh man, I just owned that guy” after the latter. A difference of maybe two pixels can be the gap between excited satisfaction and blasé. Taking the headshot idea a stage further, I think one of the most criminally overlooked reasons players prefer traditional CS to Source is the little scissor kick present in the former. Wall-banging, cluttered maps and whatever else you want to mention pale in insignificance alongside the hundred-or-so frames of animation that one game has.

It’s time for a quick admission and some plagiarism avoidance before I go much further. I would like to thank Grubby for posting this blog, quite some time ago now. Although I’m sorry to see that one of my favourite WC3 players listens to Linkin Park, it really got me thinking about the important things in life versus the small things. I have never had the pleasure of unknown Chinese people cheering my name but I have scored tries in Rugby games (when I was younger), and doing so against local rivals was probably one of the most satisfying moments of my life, even though it wasn’t a particular great try (despite what my ego might think).

As an Englishman to whom football is a secondary sport (albeit a very close second) it also reminded me of infamous quotes like "To tell the truth, that goal was like more than an orgasm” (Sunday Mirror, Mar 6, 2005). These pop up now and again in the media and the novel, Fever Pitch, has an entire chapter devoted to the discussion of this idea. The author, Nick Hornby, goes so far as to infer than a goal scored anywhere is better than any experience or emotion possible.

Now, in my short footballing “career” (sic) I scored one or two goals and I can safely say that given the choice of toe-poking a ball past “Fat Daz” on the school playground or getting my rocks off, I know which one I’d choose. I fear Hornby exaggerates slightly. I am willing to concede, however, that if it was a choice between, say… scoring a ninety meter intercept try at Wembley and the same thing, I’d probably take the try.

The big difference between a great sporting moment and getting your freak on is that the great sporting moment is yours and yours alone. We’re getting a little carried away with all the metaphors here, though. Let’s bring it back to e-sports.

You might sneer if I were to ask if you would rather ace SK circa 2003 or screw your girlfriend this weekend but behind your monitor I’m almost certain you’d pick the former. You may have a few thousand people watching open-mouthed on HLTV, you may even have a bandwagon thread, but the personal satisfaction is so much more special – especially if all five were one-deags. Besides, she'll be there against next weekend (just don't say that to her face!)