To grandpa

Помня детското слънчево лято,
помня вълните и морския бриз,
как си играехме с брат ми безгрижно-
бягайки двама по пясъка чист.

Помня те...истински-как ме прегръщаш,
липсваш ми много-дори да отричам
и още боли ме, че тъй и не казах-
колко много...теб дядо обичам!

...I will never forget you.



female or male clowns

This is something nobody has mentioned in ur forums yet or I havent seen it. I was wondering why.
Most of the threads about female gamers are for them being most skilled, comparing them to males or females joining male teams ect. Why are you avoiding the moments where male gamers are playing at female's place just to make sure that team is winning?
How pathetic is this? Then that same team goes to a LAN event and the total amount of rounds for 5 matches is 20-25?! Then again in the next cup online they r owning. How is that fair to the teams which are really trying to improve and are putting so much efforts in practicing?
The most shocking thing is that these same guys never stop flaming the female scene and keep saying that girlgamers are shit. Also they consider themselves as really high skilled and the worst is that they believe in what they are saying.
What are you aiming for? Gaming scene is not a stage where you clowns (female and male) can come with your tricks and make fun of those who are believing in esports.




Aww

It's a fast blog cause i have an exam in 30mins but I just wanted to write about the new album of Beyonce.
Beyonce - I Am Sasha Fierce [2008]
The tracks are so different from what I expected. It is no more RNB only. I guess she is trying to reach other people too. I will go to Beyonce's concert in May. I am so excited about it. This a dream for me. I will be counting the months hehe :)
Anyway! The best songs from her album are "HALO", "Hello" and "Broken-hearted girl". If you guys can find the tracks somewhere...listen to them. And when you listen, hear them.
Cheers :D



the last game

Clanless!

It's been 4-5 years since I started playing with my team. We've been trough many ups and downs, roster changes, we had a lot of fun together and we also tasted the bitter tears of disappointment. Why do all good things come to an end?? Because I need to move on. I need to save my motivation and dedicate it. I don't want to be inactive in CS. Not yet. I don't want to think of the team as trouble or something which is standing on my way. I spent too much time and nerves hoping that things will change. Too bad I'm living in a country where dreams can't come true.

So from now I am clanless. It's weird but I feel free. And I love it.
I will keep looking for another team. Somewhere where I will be just a player. And I won't take care of the management or something else.

So that's the story today :)




mhmh

I'm back from Cologne. I miss the event and i feel really sad. I think i left wrong impressions to many people. I don't care. I only regret if I did not left any to the others.
U are prolly expecting gossips? No gossips available dudes. There were no girls at the event. For good or for bad..who knows.
Thanks for the great moments guys and hope to see you again.



"The swedish dream"

Hey,guys!
I'm Foxy and I'm really happy to finally have my "mission completed".
I won a free trip to Stockholm,Sweden (The place I've always wanted to visit) and 3 days in girlz of distruction’s house “Home of Chrome".I'm so grateful to VIA and g0d bout givin me this opportunity.
But anyway..
At Friday when we were supposed to fly we went at the airport and the agent told us that we cannot get a ticket which was booked online.We can only get it if the owner of the credit card was there with us to sign some documents and since we didn’t have 800 euro cash we ofc didn’t get our tickets and we didn’t fly. I felt really bad in this moment.Like hell.It was terrible cause there was an opportunity to not fly at all.So we went back home together with iveh and I contacted the girls asap.They were so helpful and after 3 hrs we had new tickets booked for a flight the next morning at 8:25.
We had a long connection in Prague.
Our plane landed at 15cet (saturday) in Sthlm.The girls came and picked us up with taxi.Right after we arrived in home of Chrome the media was already filming and we had a great conversation.I learnd many things bout the girls and their career as gamers.Then after we got up on the second floor where the pc and the rooms of the girls are.It was wonderful house.Jamie and Liefje showed us the game of their life :) I've never played Quake4 before but Jamie said we are doin' pretty good.Then we played 1on1 with iveh.It was pain in the ass for me.After this game we played in some FFA server with so many ppl in.I was so wasted...Not good at all and I'm not proud of myself ^^ After the lessons it was already 21:30 so it was natural for me to start playin CS :D I Love swedish ping.I played till 3am and went to bed cause I was pretty tired after the trip and the excitement of it.It was a perfect first day for me.Couldn't be better.I never took the smile off from my face.I think that I probably had it even when I was sleeping.
The day after we woke up at like 10am. and had breakfast together like 1 big happy family.Then we took the bus and went to the center of Sthlm.IT WAS AWESOME!! All these buildings and stuffs.It's such a beautifull place.AND HOT MEN! Everywhere good lookin people and tourists.The girls bought some souvenirs.At 3pm we had a boat trip! Everything was beautiful .I was like stoned all the time and only was listenin to the man in the headset who was talkin bout Stockholm's history.Few times I was bout to cry but didn't let my tears out.I was not sad but that would have been tears of happiness.The euforia was big at this moment.When the trip was over we went to eat in one restaurant.Me and iveh ordered chicken meat.It was good. Actually there are not many things I don't like bout Sweden.Except for the keyboard ^^ there is notting else actually.
After the dinner me and iveh really wanted to go and watch WCG nordic finals in Playz net cafe.So Jamie and Trito were really nice and came with us.Well they didnt come they took us there haha.it wasn’t far from the restaurant.There I met many ppl I knew from other events and some I only knew online.NiP and SK were there to play their final game.I had a short talk with the guys but they were too busy so I didn’t want to disturb them anymore.But then I saw Iffe :D:D We went out for a smoke with him and Temuera and had a short conversation. Trito went home but Jamie stayed with us and played quake4..Then mYm came in the net café.They looked pretty proud after winning WCG quail for Norway ;) The final was bout to be played and I didn't want to miss it. SK won the first map but NiP played really good and won the second map.Well it was soon time for us to go cause we didn't want to miss the train/Metro .After we get off the metro it was time for the train,but it was pretty early for it so we just had some talk bout Jamie's life :D a lil blog irl .We got back home at like 23:50 after 20mins walk from the station to Home of chrome. The only awake girls were Eliane and Liefje but they soon went to bed too. I stayed awake till 6am and been playin CS.I couldn't miss the opportunity to play with 10 ping :pPp So that was my experience from the first 2 days ^^ it was amazing and I'm sure that I will never forget this trip.
The 3rd day we woke up at 12 :S:S but we didn’t have any plans. I got my coffee and started playin CS again. Stermy and Nomadic came to pracc for the WSVG London event.At 16 it was time for Eliane to leave for the airport so we said goodbye to her.Then I continued playin ;P I really wanted to meet Marc cause 4K was goin to come for bootcamp in SWE.But his net café was really far from the place where we were and I wasn’t sure if we could find it by ourselves ;[ So I decided not to go.I felt pretty bad though.at 1am most of the girls alrdy went to sleep and it was only me iveh and Jamie awake.At 4 iveh went to get a nap and Jamie went 15 mins after her.So I was alone for 2 hrs.Still playin CS.
At 6:40am we took the taxi for the airport. There we had problems again. The agent said that our flight back was cancelled (?!?!) .So we had to wait for 2 more hrs at the airport.2hrs is not that long unless you haven’t slept at all ...like me ^^. We had a breakfast and soon it was time for us to get in the plane. We had the last 2 seats..I felt like an extra luggage. But that was only for 15 mins :) then I felt asleep.Then we had a connection in Vienna and at 16:30 bg time we were in Sofia.
I went home took a shower and I started cryin.The dream was over.Back to reality or in my case..hell.Dunno for how long I’ve been cryin but I guess I felt asleep before 19 cause I didn’t watch the news :P (Bulgaria in EU wehuuuu).
It was the best trip I will ever have. I’m in love with Sweden. I don’t have a heart anymore ‘cause I left it in Stockholm.
~~FoXy




1 week

Monday,the 10th .
Its been 1 week since I came back home from Paris.
I am really confused bout ESWC'06.It was a disaster in some ways but at the same time I met few ppl I really like and respect.
The first day I didn't do anything at all.I was really disappointed 'cause our bulgarian team was put up at a hotel where I didn't know anyone at all except Pentagram , badgirls Poland and some serbian mates.90% of the gamers were in another hotel and all this situation made me think that my event won't be what I expected it to be.I was waiting for Nai to come since she was in another 3rd hotel alone as a press for SK.wc3 and I really didn't want her to be all alone in this big city.But she never came so I thought that she might be together with the other players in the 1st hotel.Afterwards we had a "big party" outside the hotel and we actually met some nice ppl from South Africa so we got drunk together.Me and my teammates were pretty tired 'cause our flight was at 8am. I also haven't slept much this last week 'cause of my sickness therefore I went to bed at like 1-2am.Didnt fall asleep immediately 'cause it was really noisy outside.The serbians were singing and the others were tryin to cry em down.
Anyway the next morning me and my teammate AdeLiNa should have gone back to the airport CDG to pick our coach who had flight 1 day later.After some rambling in the french metro we finally took the bus . The trip was over 40 mins.We were late so our guy was already waitin' for us.He was really nervous and scared 'cause he dosnt speak english neither french and didn't even know the address of the hotel in case of we weren't there to meet him.After some conversation we took another bus which were supposed to stop at Gare de Lyon.When we got down we took the metro for 1 stop.My team was already there and were only waiting for us to receive our badges.This took like 2 hrs and then we went outside where the gamers were playin' football .I met Nai there.She said that she will stay in her hotel since it's closer to Bercy.I had a talk with the russians and some other ppl :D Since there was no training day we all were lookin' forward to the open ceremony.
It was huge inside but after some ppl's speech I got really bored. And at last ! Pulling of the groups...
The bad luck is following us everywhere.In other words we didn't expect the hardest group again 'cause we already had it last year.This year we should have faced Hacker.Victory - the chinese team (again ) and Ladies.brazil (whiche managed to place 2nd in 2004 and 2005).Last year we had the chinese and the american GX3/SK (they won ESWC'05) so ye it was a bad luck again.We have never had the chance to play versus seeded european team so this lot really caught us napping.Our male team had luck with the group.Except wNv there were no other team which could present any difficulty.The same night we drank few beers outside the hotel but there were no party like the previous night so we went to sleep early.
The 3rd day wasn't any special.I woke up at 10-11 and left for Bercy.i met many ppl there :)))) but they were all acting weird.Prolly didn't expect me to be as talkactive irl as I'm in msn/IRC :) Don't know . I watched few matches but it was really hard to see something 'cause at the big screens you could only see quake4 or trackmania unless there was no match on the stage.Our male team lost its important match vs EG and it was pretty clear that they wont pass the group.
The next day I did the same.I needed to spend all my time with the people from the other hotel 'cause it was my only chance to have any conversation with them at all :( it was pretty hot in Paris and this heat made me tired.I couldnt fall asleep because all I was thinkin' bout were the upcomming matches the next day.
After 4-5 hrs of sleep we woke up,prepared ourselves and got down for breakfast.We had not enough time so I should have taken my coffee in the bus :)
Most of the female teams were already there and were playing warm up.My bad luck didn't betray me this time either.I was trying to install drivers of my mouse for over 20 mins together with 3 admins.Unfortunatelly it didn't work at all.So I just joined the server and after 3-4 rounds of "warm up" we started playin vs Ladies.Awesome isn't it? :D We had the worst game ever.I was so wasted.Too bad it was so important match for us.After loosing vs hacker.Victory too we won the other matches vs South Park ,mYm.Ladies and XpT.ladies.But it wasn't enough.Placed 3rd in the group we didn't pass in the second stage so the tournament was already over for us.I was disapointed.All my girls were.Don't know what will happen next year but I really really really hope to have seeded european teams in the group :( Playing vs 3 different continents is hard.We are not that skilled yet.But we really could do it better than this.The 4th day was in its end and I wanted to finally go to the other hotel.There were many teams out of the tournament and I was sure that there will be party.I asked some ppl and they all said ok we will go.In fact I just got fu**ed up.Everyone said that is tired and doesn't want to go anywhere so the only chance for me was to go by myself but I didn't really know where the hotel was so I was forced to stay in ours.It was terrible.Never thought that it could be so bad at ESWC.
The last day was the best!I will never forget it.Prolly it seemed that perfect cause of the other bad days but it was awesome really.I spent all my day with Marc,DaY and Ady drinking beers :D haha so fun! miss ya! Soon it was time for the finals.I missed the female final cause of the beer :$ But we were there for the CS men final.It was nice match! I really hoped fnatic to win :/ but its ok GG guys.
I was lookin forward for the closing party.And I didn't lie to myself :)) it was wonderful.I drank so much and had fun with so so so many ppl.Me,iveh and impi had a meeting near to Bercy.He was waiting for us for more than 30 mins cause we missed the first metro and should have wated for the 2nd which came in 10 mins.Me and Thomas were starving.I haven't ate all day and I first wanted us to go and get something to eat before starting drinking.All the pubs around the club where the party was were bout to close and didn't offer any food at all.After 30 mins of searchin we finally decided to get some beer before the club and it was pretty clear to us that we won't find any food at all.So we picked up the bar where NiP and mYm.Ladies were drinking.I asked for food again but the answer was "Negative" again.Suddenly I saw some croissants at the bar.I asked the waitress if it's possible to order 3-4 and when she brought me she said that its for free.i was like wtf I actually have some luck :D I ate and drank my beer .Thomas didn't eat more than a piece .We entered the club and I saw so many ppl having fun already. There was no alcohol in the club but at last they started giving us free beer.I got more than 1 for me.But it wasnt enough.I danced like crazy and I was really happy to see all the girls and boys there.After the champagne which I drank at once I saw diGitaL with a glass of whiskey.I asked him from where he got it and he said that there was a bar near to the club.I didn't need more than 3 seconds to ask him to take me there.I took AdeLina and iveh with me.There I saw that hooch (mITYA xD),fnatic,Aftermath and the guys from Astralis are gettin drinks together with RobbaN.I was happy to finally drink with em.After some shots with tequilla we left.On the way to the club we met Marc,Joona and many other ppl :D:D:D:D they were wasted as well .miss ya all .It was amazing.We got in the club and danced much much! Nai took some pics and the russians too.At 4 we got kicked and should have taken the bus.:((( it was the most terrible moment there ::(
Our flight was at 11am and we woke up at 8 but there was 2hrs delay as usual.After we landed in Sofia I was really sad.Even it was such a bad event for me I still miss the great moments there.One more year of waiting...It's so sad that ESWC.ladies is the only event for the girlgamers in Europe.
I have bday today.Yes, 10th july.I will go out and get some drinks tonight.I need some good moments...I am gettin older and older.And I don't want the time to pass me by with no good memories.Right now i'm at work writing this and drinkin some beer :D hope my boss won't understand haha.
Thx for reading this
~FoXy





VIVA FM!

haha :D I'm so happy today!
Here is my storyyyyy :D
..I work in one shitty office with bad pc..and i dont have sound card..so this means that I cant listen any music.Which is kinda sad coz i actually adore music:( And if its not noisy around me the time pass by so slowly ;(
So today.. I BOUGHT MYSELF A HAND RADIO wehuuuuuuuu!!! life is beautiful with music ! even if its coming out of a hand radio .. something like this http://www.weatherpatrol.com/image_manager/attributes/image/image_4/15159722_2981086_thumbnail.jpg radio..., but pls this radio costs 3 euros...:D i dont have 180 pounds for ipod.. :D
so this is the end ;D moo



No title...

Actually I doubt I will write blog again but I'm not in good mood atm...Sometimes I feel bad for being nice with everyone around / online (sounds stupid) me.Yes I'm talkative but that dosn't mean u all should blame me.I even feel stupid now when I'm writing this sh** just coz I know that there will be someone who will laught.I do care...But I'm just tryin' to be me.....I feel sry bout ppl like u :) empty inside,"closed" inside themselves,full of pain but weak to show it.Yes,weakness isn't good when you're pretending to be someone else...Someone of the best.But there r no perfect men / women.We are all striving for it.That's somehow the essence of the existence.Hmmm I think I had much more to write but it all disappeared inside me..Yes,that's the way it goes everytime..Get mad,get sad,get to ask urself so many many questions and finally you leave it all inside...Unwritten,unspoken...Btw I love this song even it is not the kind of music I love the most :)

Phil Collins
We never talked about it
But I hear the blame was mine
I'd call you up to say I'm sorry
But I wouldn't want to waste your time
'Cos I love you, but I can't take any more
There's a look I can't describe in your eyes
Yes we could try, like we tried before
When you kept on telling me those lies
Do you remember...?
There seemed no way to make up
'Cos it seemed your mind was set
And the way you looked it told me
It's a look I know I'll never forget
You could've come over to my side
You could've let me know
You could've tried to see the difference between us
But it seemed too far for you to go.
Do you remember...?
Through all of my life
In spite of all the pain
You know people are funny sometimes
'cos they just can't wait
To get hurt again
Do you remember...?
There are things we won't recall
Feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it
Cos we never seemed to have the time
There was always something more important to do
More important to say
But 'I love you' wasn't one of those things
And now it's too late
Do you remember...?
Thank you for reading all this..

http://www.sk-gaming.com/rss/blog/FoXy

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