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Mr. Botto Goes to Washington: Part 1

By Samuel 'DarthBotto' Horton
Jul 14, 2009 01:32



Sorry people, I am a little late with getting the second part to you. Don't worry, I've had a great experience so far!
So friends, I promised last sunday that I would be able to provide new content every following sunday. Unfortunately, I had a lot going on this weekend so I didn't have a chance to provide the blog on time. However, I am making it up to you by providing it only 21 hours late!

So I left it off to you with me going to a party on Independence Day, followed by an awesome tour of D.C. Well, the work week proved to be the most fruitful experience as I've been able to see and feel things that television only wishes it could provide insight for. Rest assured, the reason I have not been able to provide news for a week now is a valid one. I hope you enjoy it!

On monday, we had the primary purpose of orienting ourselves with the office, meeting all the staff and learning the importance of being senate employees. Seeing the fancy office and using the solid marble restrooms that only the mighty John McCain could use was pretty sweet. We were getting to familiarize ourselves with some of the most important men and women in America. However, the senate ethics video was unpleasant because it was two hours long and featured a senate employee thinking his stupid puns every couple of seconds were funny. What I learned: don't talk to lobbyists, don't accept big gifts, don't take bribes or you'll get screwed by the right hand of the United States.

On tuesday, however, I worked the mailroom job and met the mail guys. One guy's called Peter and he basically says he's there to protect others from the wrath of Mike, the guy who's been there forever and likes to bully interns for fun. Actually, I learned to use the Autopen pretty well and Mike was fun because when we were working, I'd hear, "Goddamnit, not this again! He's a fricken pedophile!"
... MJ's memorial service.
But yeah, I experienced a full work day, met interesting people and caught a glimpse of Senator Murkowski hobbling around on her knee she shredded earlier this year. The day ended with a photo with Senator Bingaman, a photo which will arrive in about a week. So yes, it was good.

You see the Capitol building on TV. No big deal. Americans are so arrogant, like it's just a building. I say HELL NO to that!!! Because I'm a senate employee, I got a special dome tour that featured us climbing up that massive dome on the top of the Capitol Building. It's beautiful, it's enormous, it's the highest and best point in D.C., and it's nearly 400 steps up. Yeah, it was amazing. I stood where hardly anyone else has the chance to stand and I loved it! I got some great pictures that I will post entirely at the end of this whole experience.

On thursday, I pretty much stayed cool and worked all day, running little errands around the Capitol building, seeing senators and not remembering their names. About an hour and-a-half from the end of the day, I was working on a special website assignment I was given earlier. I heard a woman's voice say, "Hi, I don't believe we've met yet." I thought it was just another office employee, so I curtiously turned around to find I was staring at Senator Murkowski, my boss. I was like, "Oh, Senator Murkowski! Great to meet you!" while in my head I was thinking, "Holy shit!" After that, we all had a conference with her and basically got to know her.

On friday it was a short day and we spent half of it at the Supreme Court building and the Smithsonian for Air and Space. There was an unfortunate story that another intern in our group went to a health conference where bigwig republicans like Murkowski, McCain, ect... discussed the current health care problem. This intern sat behind Sen. Murkowski, actually took off her high heels, crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. It was a little embarassing for our office.

Anyways, the weekend was good, we spent time at the Arlington Cemetary, where 300,000 American soldiers and murdered presidents are buried. It was a little depressing. Anyways, today I basically was training for a Capitol tour so I could give some in the future, I'm pretty nervous and unsure since it's a big building in the heart of America. The highlight was that I passed by McCain, didn't say, "wazzaaaaap!"

Basically, that's my first update! I'll keep you all posted and sorry for the late posting!

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